Gloriously Inappropriate Cards

For the people who read a Hallmark card and think, ‘Who the fuck talks like that?’ These cards are gloriously sweary, delightfully inappropriate, and made for the things you’d actually say. You've been warned, and so have they.

Shop funny, rude greeting cards for adults who are done with polite, predictable messages. Perfect for birthdays, friendships, celebrations, and any occasion that calls for an honest laugh.
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  • White rectangular greeting card with bold black lettering reading “I Fucking Love You,” surrounded by small red hearts.

    I Fucking Love You!

    I Fucking Love You!
    $5.00
  • Spiral-bound planner with a red floral cover reading “Fuck it. A sweary planner for tired-ass women.”

    Fuck It Daily Planner

    Fuck It Daily Planner
    $18.00
  • White rectangular card with a smiling stick figure holding both middle fingers up, reading “Fuck You This Much.”

    Fuck you this much! Greeting card

    Fuck you this much! Greeting card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular apology card with large black lettering reading “I Fucked Up” and smaller text underneath reading “I’m Sorry.”

    I Fucked Up. Sorry. Card

    I Fucked Up. Sorry. Card
    $5.00
  • A white greeting card with bold black text reading 'FUCKING QUITTER' and smaller text 'I MEAN, HAPPY RETIREMENT,' styled on top of a kraft envelope with eucalyptus leaves, a pen, and other flat-lay props on a white surface.

    Fucking Quitter Card

    Fucking Quitter Card
    $5.00
  • A white congratulations card featuring a small house illustration and the text 'CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW HOME! i hope your new neighbours aren't assholes', styled on a light surface with a wicker basket edge and dried stems nearby.

    New home congratulations card

    New home congratulations card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular greeting card with bold black lettering reading “Fuck you, have a shit day.”

    Have a shit day! Greeting Card

    Have a shit day! Greeting Card
    $5.00
  • A white novelty greeting card with the word 'FUCK' in large green outlined letters at the top, followed by a checklist of phrases including 'THIS', 'YOU', 'HIM', 'HER', 'THEM', 'ME', 'YEAH', 'CANCER', 'COVID', 'ING HELL', and 'OFF'. The card is styled in a flat lay with a brown kraft envelope, a silver pen, white fabric, and small dried flowers on a white background.

    FUCK - Multi Use Card

    FUCK - Multi Use Card
    $5.00
  • A white to-do list card with black and red text reading 'TO DO LIST: BUY THAT ASSHOLE A CARD' is placed on top of a kraft paper envelope, styled with eucalyptus leaves, a pen, and a small decorative object on a white surface.

    To Do List: Buy That Asshole a Card - Everything Card

    To Do List: Buy That Asshole a Card - Everything Card
    $5.00
  • A white greeting card with bold dark teal text reading 'YOU'RE FUCKING AWESOME' and smaller text 'KEEP THAT SHIT UP,' plus a large green thumbs-up icon. The card is styled on cream fabric with dried grass and small shells in soft natural light.

    You’re fucking awesome card

    You’re fucking awesome card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular wedding card with a wooden bed and blue bedding, reading “May all your up’s and down’s be in the bedroom” and “Congratulations on your wedding.”

    May all your up's and down's be in the bedroom - Card

    May all your up's and down's be in the bedroom - Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular card reading “Here’s to another year of the same,” with a poop illustration replacing “shit,” followed by “day in and day out.”

    Here's to Another Year of Same Shit, Day In and Day Out - Greeting Card

    Here's to Another Year of Same Shit, Day In and Day Out - Greeting Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular card reading “Nice Tits,” with five illustrated birds labelled blue tit, great tit, willow tit, crested tit and coal tit.

    Nice Tits - Funny Greeting Card

    Nice Tits - Funny Greeting Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular card with a yellow “Caution Wet Floor” sign, reading “Thanks for all the orgasms, keep that shit up!”

    Thanks for All the Orgasms, Keep That Shit Up - You're Fucking Incredible Card

    Thanks for All the Orgasms, Keep That Shit Up - You're Fucking Incredible Card
    $5.00