Naughty & Sweary Christmas Cards

'Tis the season to be sweary. Cards for the festive chaos, the awkward family dinners, the Secret Santa disasters, and everyone who deserves a little more than a boring “Season's Greetings.”

Shop naughty and sweary Christmas cards for friends, family, coworkers, and the gloriously inappropriate people on your nice-ish list. Funny, rude festive greetings with Canadian attitude and zero bland holiday bullshit.
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  • A white greeting card featuring a humorous illustration of three birds wearing red Santa hats and holding wine glasses, with the text 'CELEBRATING THE ALCOHOLIDAYS'. The card is displayed on a wooden table with a blurred Christmas background containing lights, ornaments, and wrapped gifts.

    Alcoholidays – Funny Christmas Card

    Alcoholidays – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • A Christmas greeting card featuring a cartoon raccoon in a Santa hat with the text 'If I had any more CHRISTMAS spirit I'd be shitting JINGLE BELLS', styled on a light gray surface with an envelope, wrapped gift, red ribbon, pine branches, and red berries.

    Jingle Bells – Funny Christmas Card

    Jingle Bells – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card with a snowman wearing a black top hat and red striped scarf among baubles, reading “Balls Deep in Christmas.”

    Balls Deep in Christmas – Funny Christmas Card

    Balls Deep in Christmas – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • A Christmas-themed greeting card featuring a grumpy black cat wearing a Santa hat, with the text 'FUCK SANTA, THE JUDGEMENTAL PRICK.' in red and green lettering.

    Fuck Santa – Funny Christmas Card

    Fuck Santa – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card with a skeleton wearing a Santa hat and red scarf, holding a steaming mug, reading “Ho Ho Holy Shit What a Year.”

    Ho Ho Holy Shit What a Year – Funny Christmas Card

    Ho Ho Holy Shit What a Year – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card reading “This year can kiss my,” with a donkey wearing a Santa hat replacing the word “ass.”

    This Year Can Kiss My Ass – Funny Christmas Card

    This Year Can Kiss My Ass – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular card reading “Holy [poop] It’s Christmas,” with a smiling poop character wearing a Santa hat replacing “shit.”

    Holy Shit It’s Christmas – Funny Christmas Card

    Holy Shit It’s Christmas – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • A rectangular holiday greeting card with a watercolor green foliage border and cursive text reading, 'I spent a long time choosing the perfect holiday card that will look so pretty in your garbage,' displayed on a wooden mantel with candles, pinecones, and blurred holiday lights in the background.

    Holiday Card – Funny Christmas Card

    Holiday Card – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card with a grumpy cat in a Santa hat tangled in lights, reading “That’s right I’m on the naughty list... and I regret nothing.”

    Naughty List – Funny Christmas Card

    Naughty List – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card with a cartoon moose wearing a checked hat and scarf, bells hanging from its antlers, reading “Jingle all the way... Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.”

    Jingle All the Way – Funny Christmas Card

    Jingle All the Way – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • A white Christmas greeting card with bold red and green text reading 'Merry Fucking Christmas You Magnificent Mother Fucker', styled on a gray fabric surface with a white envelope, candle, pine branches, and holiday decor.

    Magnificent Mother Fucker – Funny Christmas Card

    Magnificent Mother Fucker – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular Christmas card with a red and green elf hat and striped elf boots, reading “When I think of you I touch my elf.”

    Touch My Elf – Funny Christmas Card

    Touch My Elf – Funny Christmas Card
    $5.00
  • White rectangular card reading “Here’s to another year of the same,” with a poop illustration replacing “shit,” followed by “day in and day out.”

    Here's to Another Year of Same Shit, Day In and Day Out - Greeting Card

    Here's to Another Year of Same Shit, Day In and Day Out - Greeting Card
    $5.00