{"title":"Rude \u0026 Sarcastic Birthday Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the people who roll their eyes at Hallmark and laugh their asses off at a well-placed swear word. Because 'Happy Birthday' is better when it comes with a side of sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShop funny birthday greeting cards for friends and adults, from cheeky and sarcastic to rude, sweary, and completely unapologetic. Cards for every milestone and every person who deserves more than a generic birthday wish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWarning: may contain profanity. You're welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"fuck-youre-old","title":"Fuck You’re Old","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a funny birthday card for someone who’s getting old and deserves the truth? This rude adult birthday card delivers it in three beautifully blunt words: Fuck. You’re. Old.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo sentimental waffle. No pretending age is just a number. It’s perfect for a friend, partner, sibling, or favourite old fucker who appreciates sweary humour and can take a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBoldly funny, unapologetically direct, and far more memorable than another boring birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45095126434000,"sku":"IF-3605-FUC-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/51.jpg?v=1787011028"},{"product_id":"toys-and-games-example-product-4","title":"Discount Birthday","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a funny birthday card that says “nothing but the best” without actually spending a fortune? This cheeky discount-themed birthday card delivers maximum laughs at a suspiciously reasonable price.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for a friend, sibling, coworker, or favourite cheapskate who appreciates sarcastic humour. Because they deserve to be celebrated, just not too expensively.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHappy Birthday. You’re worth at least a penny.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45101395902672,"sku":"IF-8717-DIS-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/33.jpg?v=1787010950"},{"product_id":"asshole-birthday","title":"Asshole- Birthday","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a funny, rude birthday card for the loveable asshole in your life? This cheeky donkey card says exactly what you mean while keeping it just classy enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for a friend, sibling, partner, or coworker who appreciates sweary humour and knows the insult comes with love. They’ll get it. They always get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause generic birthday wishes are boring, and sometimes “Happy Birthday, asshole” is the only honest option.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45101404029136,"sku":"IF-4975-ASS-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/58.jpg?v=1787010888"},{"product_id":"narcissist-birthday","title":"Narcissist Birthday","description":"\u003cp\u003eThrow down this Narcissist Birthday card and watch the truth hit hard. Unleash savage humour with every swear. Challenge the ordinary, offend with style, and own the moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the one who absolutely makes every room about them — and honestly, fair enough. It IS their birthday. This time they've got an excuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe perfect funny, rude birthday card for your most extra friend. They'll love it. Obviously, because it's about them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Birthday","offer_id":45101452165328,"sku":"IF-5896-NAR-INK-BIR","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/40.jpg?v=1787010830"},{"product_id":"fine-as-fuck","title":"Fine As Fuck","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause some people age like fine wine — and then there's this person. They didn't just age well, they aged spectacularly, and almost unfairly well. They are still HOT as fuck!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary birthday card for the friend or partner who deserves a bold compliment on their big day. Do it, tell them. Make their day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Birthday","offer_id":45105123098832,"sku":"IF-7513-FIN-INK-BIR","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/54.jpg?v=1787010759"},{"product_id":"nursing-home-card","title":"You Old Fart","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a funny birthday card for your favourite old fart? Things might get messy when they see this card. They just might shit themselves reading it, and the candles will blow themselves out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause blowing out that many candles takes serious lung power and bowel control — and at their age, there are no guarantees. One big puff and anything could happen. Anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the birthday legend who's been around long enough to find this funny. Probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105173135568,"sku":"IF-1770-YOU-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/31.jpg?v=1787010698"},{"product_id":"this-card-is-shit-nursing-home","title":"This card is Shit-Nursing Home","description":"\u003cp\u003eThink this card is a bit shit? Just wait until you see the nursing home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude birthday card for someone who appreciates dark humour and a gentle reminder of their future living arrangements. It also works for Mother’s Day, anniversaries, or any regular Tuesday when a loving threat feels appropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThoughtful. Practical. A little threatening. Exactly what they deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105177067728,"sku":"IF-3885-THI-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/38.jpg?v=1787010654"},{"product_id":"my-best-bud-cannabis-card","title":"My best Bud- Cannabis Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the best bud a person could ask for. The one who's always there. Always brings good vibes and great weed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe kind of friend who makes everything better just by showing up — high as always.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon't forget to throw a joint inside for good measure. Maybe they'll share.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105180639440,"sku":"IF-2302-MY -INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/bestbud.jpg?v=1786731508"},{"product_id":"hope-your-birthday-is-dope","title":"Hope your Birthday is Dope","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the person who is, without question, absolutely dope, and smokes just as much of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny cannabis birthday card for the laid-back friend who brings good vibes, raids the snacks, and always knows what they’re about. Hope their birthday is dope. Literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105187127504,"sku":"IF-4682-HOP-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/56.jpg?v=1787010612"},{"product_id":"you-old-shit","title":"You Old Shit","description":"\u003cp\u003eSometimes a card says it all. Sometimes a toilet says it better.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude birthday card for the old shit who appreciates honesty over sentimentality and has a sense of humour as solid as their plumbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHappy Birthday, you old shit. Your relationship might go down the toilet with this one. Worth it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105192468688,"sku":"IF-4082-YOU-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/36.jpg?v=1787010562"},{"product_id":"i-spy-an-old-fucker","title":"I Spy- An Old Fucker","description":"\u003cp\u003eI spy, with my little eye… something beginning with F.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat’s right. An old fucker. Caught in the wild, celebrating another trip around the sun and looking suspiciously distinguished about the whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary birthday card for the friend or family member who has earned every wrinkle and can still laugh about getting older.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105213833424,"sku":"IF-7186-I S-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/37.jpg?v=1787010515"},{"product_id":"a-little-birdie","title":"A Little Birdie","description":"\u003cp\u003eA little birdie told me it was your birthday. But let’s be honest, the real story here is the bird. A talking bird. An actual talking bird, casually chirping away like that’s normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary birthday card for a friend who appreciates absurd humour and possibly has some explaining to do. Holy shit. A talking bird. Oh right, Happy Birthday!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105220616400,"sku":"IF-3595-A L-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/61.jpg?v=1787010476"},{"product_id":"grumpy-bitch","title":"Grumpy Bitch","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest. They’re not a morning person. They’re not really an afternoon person either. Evenings are touch and go.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut they’re your grumpy bitch, and that counts for everything. A funny, sweary birthday card for a friend who tells it like it is, suffers no fools, and has perfected the death stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHappy Birthday, you magnificent grumpy bitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105226580176,"sku":"IF-7738-GRU-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/47.jpg?v=1787010416"},{"product_id":"bruh-genz-card","title":"Bruh-GenZ Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eHBD. Fr.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo long speech. No cringe poem. Just a funny Gen Z birthday card for the one who communicates entirely in memes, voice notes, and the occasional “bruh.” This card speaks their language.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHope it slaps. For real.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105232380112,"sku":"IF-6459-BRU-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/60.jpg?v=1787010369"},{"product_id":"geriatric-fuck-card","title":"Geriatric Fuck Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest. They’re old. Properly, spectacularly, magnificently old. The kind of old that deserves its own documentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude birthday card for the glorious geriatric fuck who has outlasted trends, technology, and probably several world leaders. 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