{"title":"Gloriously Inappropriate Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the people who read a Hallmark card and think, ‘Who the fuck talks like that?’ These cards are gloriously sweary, delightfully inappropriate, and made for the things you’d actually say. You've been warned, and so have they.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShop funny, rude greeting cards for adults who are done with polite, predictable messages. Perfect for birthdays, friendships, celebrations, and any occasion that calls for an honest laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"fuck-multi-use-card","title":"FUCK - Multi Use Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSometimes there isn’t a thoughtful sentence for the situation. Sometimes the only appropriate response is: fuck.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary multi-use card for bad news, breakups, rough days, ridiculous situations, or any moment that deserves one perfectly chosen word. Add your own message inside and make it supportive, sarcastic, celebratory, or gloriously inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor when polite sympathy simply will not cut it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45105233363152,"sku":"IF-1815-FUC-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/52.jpg?v=1787010251"},{"product_id":"fuck-you-this-much-greeting-card","title":"Fuck you this much! Greeting card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people deserve a heartfelt gesture. This is technically a gesture.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude greeting card for friends, siblings, partners, or anyone you adore enough to insult properly. Perfect for birthdays, playful revenge, inside jokes, or simply reminding your favourite asshole exactly how much you care.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAffection, but make it aggressively honest.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45111640948944,"sku":"IF-4972-FUC-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/49.jpg?v=1787010204"},{"product_id":"have-a-shit-day-greeting-card","title":"Have a shit day! Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003ePositive vibes are wildly overrated. Wish someone the day they truly deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude greeting card for friends, coworkers, siblings, or your favourite pain in the ass. Perfect for office banter, playful revenge, bad moods, and relationships built on mutual disrespect.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing says “thinking of you” quite like hoping their day is absolute shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45114424590544,"sku":"IF-5968-HAV-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/27.jpg?v=1787010146"},{"product_id":"you-re-fucking-awesome-card","title":"You’re fucking awesome card","description":"\u003cp\u003eForget bland compliments. Sometimes people need to hear the properly enthusiastic truth: you’re fucking awesome.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary encouragement card for a friend, coworker, partner, or anyone who deserves some loud appreciation. Perfect for congratulations, thank-yous, tough weeks, big wins, or a completely unprompted confidence boost.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSupportive, direct, and refreshingly free of inspirational bollocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45114432520400,"sku":"IF-2096-YOU-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/25.jpg?v=1787010087"},{"product_id":"new-home-congratulations-card","title":"New home congratulations card","description":"\u003cp\u003eCongratulations on the new home, the terrifying mortgage, and discovering just how much a decent couch costs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny new-home card for friends, family, couples, or first-time homeowners who have officially traded spare cash for keys. Perfect for a housewarming gift, moving day, or celebrating a new apartment without resorting to bland “home sweet home” nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere’s to fresh starts, unpacked boxes, and pretending the weird noise is probably nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45114434388176,"sku":"IF-6014-NEW-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/41.jpg?v=1787009446"},{"product_id":"thanks-for-all-the-orgasms-anniversary-card","title":"Thanks for All the Orgasms, Keep That Shit Up - You're Fucking Incredible Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people deserve to hear it straight: thanks for all the orgasms, keep that shit up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude anniversary card for the partner who is, without question, absolutely fucking incredible. It also works whenever they deserve some very specific appreciation. You know who they are. Send it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRomantic, filthy, and refreshingly honest.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45132452462800,"sku":"IF-2193-THA-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/35.jpg?v=1787270672"},{"product_id":"to-do-list-buy-that-asshole-a-card","title":"To Do List: Buy That Asshole a Card - Everything Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eToday’s most important task: buy that asshole a card. Look at you, absolutely crushing the to-do list.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, rude all-occasion card for friends, siblings, coworkers, partners, or whichever beloved asshole currently requires acknowledgement. Use it for birthdays, thank-yous, congratulations, apologies, or because insulting someone is your shared love language.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne card. Endless occasions. Minimal emotional vulnerability.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45132453118160,"sku":"IF-2685-TO -INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/26.jpg?v=1787270676"},{"product_id":"nice-tits-funny-greeting-card","title":"Nice Tits - Funny Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eCompliments don’t need to be complicated. Sometimes “nice tits” is both thoughtful and entirely sufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, cheeky greeting card for partners, best friends, bridesmaids, or anyone who appreciates inappropriate encouragement. Perfect for birthdays, anniversaries, body-positive hype, or delivering a completely unprompted confidence boost.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClassy? Debatable. Memorable? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45132459442384,"sku":"IF-9464-TO -INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/39.jpg?v=1787270682"},{"product_id":"heres-to-another-year-same-shit-card","title":"Here's to Another Year of Same Shit, Day In and Day Out - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAnother year. Same shit. Day in, day out. And honestly? There’s something beautiful about that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis funny, rude birthday card features a huge pile of shit and the most honest celebration message going. 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Perfect for anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, or any random Tuesday when they deserve a blunt reminder that they’re loved.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBig feelings, zero fluff, and exactly the right amount of profanity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45133829079248,"sku":"IF-6238-I F-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/59.png?v=1787360260"},{"product_id":"i-fucking-up-sorry-card","title":"I Fucked Up. Sorry. Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eNo excuses, no elaborate speech, no pretending it wasn’t your fault. You fucked up. You’re sorry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, sweary apology card for partners, friends, and family when a proper admission is overdue. Perfect for arguments, forgotten occasions, bad decisions, and mistakes too obvious to explain away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrite the sincere bit inside, hand it over, and accept that forgiveness may require snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45133829112016,"sku":"IF-7243-I F-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/58.png?v=1787360260"},{"product_id":"fucking-quitter","title":"Fucking Quitter Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAfter years of meetings, emails, and pretending to care about team-building exercises, they’ve finally quit. What a fucking quitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny retirement card for coworkers, bosses, friends, or anyone escaping the working world. Perfect for retirement parties, farewell gifts, and celebrating the glorious transition from deadlines to doing absolutely whatever they want.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCongratulations on giving up professionally. We’re all deeply jealous.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003cbr\u003eIncludes: White envelope\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Fusion","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45133829275856,"sku":"IF-7524-FUC-INK-DEF","price":5.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/5501\/7424\/files\/53.png?v=1787360259"},{"product_id":"may-all-your-ups-and-downs-be-in-the-bedroom-card","title":"May all your up's and down's be in the bedroom - Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eMay all your ups and downs be in the bedroom, where they’re considerably more fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny, cheeky wedding or anniversary card for couples who prefer their romance with a filthy little wink. 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